Incident 5

Well there is a good chance this could be last one I post for a while, I have mentioned all the stories that I think are worth mentioning to this date. But boy, is this a good one. This next incident just made me chuckle a little bit at the nature of people in our society. The basis of this story is that myself and one of my partners were working and saw a man conceal several items into another store’s shopping bag. He was near the front doors so we had to run from our office in the back to the front to stop him. Unfortunately for us, as we were going through the first set of double doors he caught a glimpse of us out of the corner of his eye from right out side the second set of doors and took off running. Long story short, we did not pursue for safety reasons and he made it down to the other side of the strip mall our store is in, where we could see him standing plain as day.

Now the storey for the most part is over, now I want to explain a little of the after math of the incident. Not long after he was gone the comments from other customers started pouring in. One lady advised us to “chase him down he’s old you guys can get him,” while another admitted that she “knew he was stealing,” she “saw him taking stuff in the store.” Now I’m not one to judge, but if you saw someone stealing in a store, don’t you think you would tell one of the associates working there that they needed to contact security. Now this is just my analysis of our society, but it seems as if these days no one wants to get involved unless it directly affects them more than ever before. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but I would alert someone if I saw someone stuffing their bag full of stolen goods.

Besides the customers, there was also a man who saw the whole thing happen and decided that he was going to help us out. He follows the guy in his truck and finds the bus stop across the street where the guy is sitting. So the man speeds back in his truck to tell us. We thanked him, called dispatch to see if they would try to pick him up, but realized that was probably not going to happen. The pick up truck guy, seeing that we are not chasing the shoplifter down decides to act on his own and starts following the bus the shoplifter is on. He then calls the store and tells the manager he will follow the man till we can do something about it…?!?! Who does he think we are the police? We are going to do nothing, luckily management convinced him to forget it and go home. I don’t even want to think about what could have happened if this vigilante had tried to bring this guy in for us. But the question I asked was, would this man have gone out of his way this much for someone that had a flat tire or needed a lift to the gas station or needed $5? I don’t know the answer to that, but I think that our society as a whole many times is too eager to see individuals suffer or feel pain of one kind or another. Although I like to see the good in people, in this line of work I see the bad far too often. Hopefully I’m wrong; I really hope that people out there really do want to help others out. I’m sorry for the social commentary, but I don’t have anything else to write about, maybe I’ll have a stop in the next couple days and have some juicy new material to write about. Let’s hope, I’m out of topics to write on already.

Incident 4

So just last week I came to the conclusion that I feel sorry for the shoplifters I catch and want to hunt down the ones that get away. It’s funny because it’s a very fine line between the two. That fine line really divides the good shoplifters who know what they’re doing from the punks and drug addicts that are clueless to my existence as a silent, invisible guardian over the store. Ha, that’s sort of like that line at the end of the Dark Knight; I guess I’m kind of like Batman, except I don’t have a sweet car, awesome ninja skills, or unlimited resources, and I am stopping shoplifters to pay my bills.

But anyway back to my point, I really hate the ones that get away. I had one the other night that made me come to this conclusion. This skater boy and his girlfriend were in the store the other day and the punk I guess was trying to look cool for he lady and decided to steal some cologne. Well as stated earlier there are two types of shoplifters, those that know what they are doing and those that don’t. Well, this genius notice our camera dome on the ceiling and decides that he’s going to watch it to make sure that it doesn’t run off and tattle…as he stuffs the cologne in his pocket. If only they were all this easy. Then something happened that ruined my night and the next day as well it made me so mad. One of those pesky technicalities in policy popped up and prevented me from ruining his night and embarrassing him in front of his lady friend. But I still watched hoping beyond hope that he’d slip up, and open another door for me to stop him, but it never happened.

But the entire time I was doing surveillance I got to see what a little girl this punk was. He incessantly stared at the cameras, clenched his fists, then wiped his sweaty palms on his pants, and kicked his heels; all of these are slight signs of stress to say the least. After he left the store I almost put a dent in my door and wall I was so mad. Its not so much that he stole a $15 bottle of cologne, as it is that I had to sit there and watch, and I could not do a dang thing about it. The last thing I have to say on this matter, as it is still a sore subject, is that I am happy that there is one thing you can always rely on, that a happy shoplifter comes back, and I got news for you skater boy, next time you’re not getting off so easily.

Incident 3

This next incident is one of my favorites to date, and it is interesting because I did not approach a shoplifter and did not even to. It just so happened that one shift as I was working I started watching a man, that looked strangely like Leonardo DeCaprio, (again I suck at spelling so that’s my best guess). But it is funny how often I see people that resemble famous personalities. We had one lady that looked like a fat version of Sarah Palin, no kidding and its not like tons of celebrities are rushing to suburban America to steal stuff they have more than enough money to buy…its just their look alike’s. But anyway I’m watching Leonardo. And I see that he is talking to a buddy of his, we’ll call him Dan. Well as enthralled as I am with Leonardo, Dan seems to be very intent upon twisting the underwear he has selected into the smallest ball possible…if you don’t see this coming, don’t apply for a job as a detective…but surprisingly he tries to steal them. Unlike my previous shoplifters he realizes we have cameras and makes me work a little to see where he hides is plunder.

At this time I would like to note that sometimes we do not stop a person on a technicality in our policies, which are designed to protect us from getting sued. And since I don’t want to let all the shoplifters reading this know the best way to steal, I’m just going to leave it at that. On this occasion one such technicality occurred, and I could not stop him, so the next gun I have in my arsenal is what basically amounts to scare tactics; basically letting the shoplifter know, you know, and convincing them that it’s not worth it to risk getting caught. So I decide to do this, and go to the floor to get close to him and play with his mind. If I seem strangely amused with playing with his mind, it’s because I am, a grown man should not be stealing underwear, and if he does deserves to suffer for it. So I followed him through the store letting him get comfortable thinking that he was in the clear. Then I decided to play my game. I positioned myself across the aisle from him as he shopped through some cologne. I was very obviously not paying attention to the petite women’s gloves I was trying on my big, bony hands; and at the same time I was giving him what must have been the most accusing, angry and frightening face in the world. In the moment he saw it his face went white and his smile was wiped clear off his face. He took a couple gulps of air, and got out the cell phone. Wouldn’t you know it not an instant after Dan makes a call Leonardo picks up his phone. Dan frantically tells him that there is this “bamf following him around the store and that they better drop their stuff and get the frick out.” (again simulated conversation going through my head)

So Dan books it back to where he had concealed his underwear stash, and dumps all 7 pair behind another piece of merchandise. I then followed Leonardo and Dan as they scampered out of the store. I collected the evidence and started my reports. So I am adding up the prices of the underwear, and they are mostly name brand boxers, but they also include my all-time favorite stolen item…the name brand pair of whitie-tighties. The funny thing is, all these underwear were on clearance, and had been dropped down so low that the most expensive item was $6, ummmm really, are you serious. His prized whitie-tighties were a steep $1. I mean, I would never be one to go out and commit a crime, but believe me I’d be pulling off some kind of heist to set me up for life, not risking jail for a $1 pair of underwear. So Dan, if you are out there reading this, please just ask next time, and I’ll buy the briefs for you, I’m sure I can find some change in my pockets to spot you.

Incident 2

So a week or so later after this first incident, I was working a close shift again. You will notice that a lot of these happen close to our closing…which is one of the most annoying things I have found about shoplifters, they always come when its is the least convenient. So again I was scanning the floor before the close, when I saw a young woman enter the purse department. For the sake of simplicity we will call her Sally Shoplifter. Sally had a large, relatively empty hand bag with her, which is a good hint that she may be planning to steal. When I began watching her she already had a scarf that belonged to us. She entered purses and selected a Dooney and Bourke purse (my spelling may be off, like I said I don’t know much about shopping, especially not about purses). So I’m watching Sally, and wouldn’t you know it, not more than 30 seconds after she picks up the purse she is stuffing into her handbag. Thankfully again, as in the previous incident, she had no idea that we had cameras, and that again she was giving me a front row seat to a show I don’t mind watching, because it spices up my night a lot. After concealing the purse Sally pulls her purse up onto her shoulder, so I am assuming that she will buy the scarf which is much less expensive, and use that as a cover so that we think she was a legitimate shopper. But she was not willing to pay even the $15 for the scarf; moments after concealing the purse she stuffed the scarf into her bag as well.

Now its game time, I stuck my head out of my office and told management that I needed a witness to be there for the apprehension. By the time I had looked back to my monitors she was halfway between purses and the front door, which is approximately 25 feet, I however had to run from my office to the front doors which is in the back corner of the store…approximately 150-200 feet from the front doors. So I took off running, luckily for me there was not anyone on our main aisle so I could run up it. I later reviewed the tape, and clocked myself at reaching the front door no less than 5 seconds after leaving the office, I was cruising. I had to bulldoze through our front doors because they are slow to open on their own. I arrived outside, out of breath and behind Sally, who is nearing her car which is parked in the first row of spots. This time instead of the well rehearsed speech, all I got out was a gasping shout of “GIVE ME BACK MY MERCANDISE!!!” Needless to say, unsuspecting Sally was quite started and was very quick to agree to come back inside. She was very apologetic and was worried we would call the police. Well, if you do the crime you do the time, and since the purse she was stealing was $100, we sure were going to be pressing charges. Again, I felt bad, this girl twenty some odd years old was now setting herself up for a lifetime of trouble, and I don’t say that because she was a bad person, she was actually very nice, but a criminal record can really screw you over down the road no matter how nice of a person you are. I really regretted that she had to walk away in hand cuffs, but like I said, you do the crime, you do the time…

Incident 1

So one night close to about the time the store was going to close, I was sitting in my office browsing the sales floor via camera, with the intention of just wasting away the short period of time till we closed. Then out of nowhere, this girl walks into the store. I started watching her because she was wearing a baggy hoodie, but quite frankly I did not think she would do anything and really did not want to have to deal with this right before we closed, since that could easily end in me having to stay late. So I’m watching this girl and she begins to shop in the perfume and cologne section of our store. Quite often people steal perfume because it is pretty easy to hide and is valuable for its size. She tries a few different types and finally decides on a type. To this point she has done nothing to make me think that she is not a legitimate. She takes the perfume and walks into one of our clothing departments, where she meets some companions that to this point I was unaware of.

This is where stuff starts getting fun. After discussing how much she likes the perfume with her friends, (I make up all the supposed conversation in my head as I am watching, because I unfortunately don’t have hidden microphones. People are really funny when they talk as they are shopping.) but anyway she hands the perfume to one of her friends…enter the perpetrator…and he decides to walk over to our men’s department. When he gets there he decides, either on his own or on earlier instruction, that this girl really wants this perfume. So he decides to steal it, and it seems to him that he will be sneaky and take it out of the box and then conceal just the bottle, this way it’s less conspicuous. However, to get it out of the box and not be seen doing so he decides to back up to a rack of clothes and take it out behind his back. What he does not realize is that the position of my camera gives me a front row seat for this show. And ironically, the clothes rack would have given him more cover, but he turns his shoulders slightly away from me, exposing his hands and wouldn’t you know it, the perfume, which is quickly leaving the box and heading for his hoodie pocket. He then, dreadfully obviously throws the box under the rack.

At this point my heart is in my throat, this was one of the first times I was working alone, and this was the first stop I would do by myself. So I call the manager and let them know it’s going down, put on my coat, and enter the sales floor. I am now undercover, one of them, a creature that is hard for me to impersonate…a shopper. Side note, last time I went shopping before this job was three years prior, so I don’t exactly blend in as a typical shopper. But back to the story, I made my way to the front of the store and pretended to be enthralled in some Christmas cards or something like that. I waited till the group was exiting the store, then I pounced like a cat. He was only a few steps out the door before I was spitting out a rehearsed speech about who I was and that I needed my stuff back. He dumbly looked around and as if I was talking to someone else, but reality hit home pretty quick when I told him I had had him on tape the entire time. So it turns out he is a juvenile and the girl who I assume he was stealing for claims that she is his guardian.

So I take them both back to my office and start to process the piles of paperwork that go along with an apprehension. While working on the forms, the girls receives a text message from one of the other companions asking if he has to “kick down some doors and kick some ass,” I’m thinking great, first stop and some one wants to forcibly enter my office. So I made sure my door was locked and set a camera on my hallway in case I had to go spider monkey on someone. Thankfully, the punk who thought he would try something was really just acting tough, because he never so much as set foot in my store. When I again asked the girl if she was his guardian, she tells me that she is not legally, but that he is her cousin and his mom is a crack head left seven years ago. At this point I’m like, dang, crack head, neglectful mom and now the possibility of a criminal record and a guaranteed entry into a shoplifter database viewed by employers…you got a dealt a great hand kid. I really felt sorry for the kid, assuming it was true, but I have to do my job. So I contacted my boss, and told him the situation to get further instruction, and he instructed me to release him into his cousin’s custody. The incident ends and the paperwork continues, but that is how is with any law enforcement like establishment these days, you need to document everything, or you’ll get sued. When the night ended I must say I was relieved to go home finally, because an apprehension can take a lot out of you, but unfortunately, I was on such an adrenaline high that night that I couldn’t sleep anyways.

Introduction

Recently I took a job as a store detective at a retailer in my hometown. My main duty as a detective is to prevent loss in inventory. Basically I do this through stopping shoplifters and occasionally through the investigation of store associate theft. This job is the best and worst job, all at the same time. It can be extremely exciting; the adrenaline rush when stopping a shoplifter is one of the most intense I have ever felt. However, it can also be one of the most tedious and boring jobs ever; the time spent waiting for an incident to occur can drag on and on for what seems like forever. I will be posting descriptions of the incidents at my store for the purpose of keeping a record of these events and for the enjoyment of anyone interested in reading about them, because honestly I find many of them to be quite funny.

For privacy and confidentiality purposes I will not be using any names or sensitive information. I also will not be specifically referencing the company I work for, and will not be directly disclosing any of our policies or procedures. All you really need to know is that we are not really allowed to use any physical force to stop a shoplifter; all we can really do is try to talk them back into the store to process them and either release them or file charges with the police. If by chance I do refer to myself, I will be using a nickname given to me by some friends (don’t ask how I got it, its too long of a story) but for all intensive purposes I am Tuggs. I will be putting incidents up here as they happen, so they will not be posted with any regularity. I have a few stories to that I will begin with, so there should be a quick influx of post within the first few days of this blog, but after that I cannot say when the next will happen. Also as a disclaimer, since these incidents are so irregular and I want to keep posting as regularly as possible, there is no guarantee that these stories will be funny or even interesting.